I should point out that this isn’t a cycling post. My apologies if you were expecting something 2-wheeler related.
This Is A Rant And Laugh Post.
A friend who shall remain nameless asked me, a few days ago, what I though about certain US-based PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) gurus. A few names were suggested so I had a little poke around on the information superhighway and found a blog belonging to one of them.
I won’t link it here because a pingback to his site will probably get me countless delusional followers who believe that I’m actually a fan of his. I’m not. Let’s make that perfectly clear. I think he’s a parasite, sucking the lifeblood and money from far too many hapless individuals. Thankfully most of them stay at home all day: I know this because people with actual life experience wouldn’t fall for his bullsh*t, would they?
He’s called Eben Pagan.
Google him. Read his wordpress blog and be a little scared. Then, read the comments his followers leave and be heartily amused.
I’m sorry. I know it’s wrong to mock the afflicted, but if you’re going to be afflicted with terminal dumbassness, don’t post it all over the internet. Unless of course you’re happy for me to laugh at you – then for me to post it on another blog to encourage other people to laugh at you.
Actually, do you know what? I’m not sorry at all, not one little bit.
Not Googled Him Yet?
Ok, if you’re not convinced it’s worth your time, look at these. These are actual screenshots taken from his actual blog which he (probably) actually writes. Click on them to enlarge them and have a read, then come back here and let me know what you think.
I mean, seriously?
I know that trolling takes place on blogs. I’ve read Joby’s. But check for yourself. Some of the comments left on Mr Pagan’s blog are priceless, even moreso for the seriousness and gullibility with which they have been written.
Here’s another one, with the contributor’s link expanded. Have a click:
Excuse me but I really have no interest in your Love Bucket, love.
Who Is This Eben Guy?
Eben Pagan, I suspect, may not be an actual name. I have some difficulty imagining his parents proudly proffering him to the Priest at his Baptism and giving him that name.
You might know him as David DeAngelo, who promised to Double Your Dating. That is, to make it possible for you to turn the heads of the ladieees. Oh, and to remove the pants of said individuals.
Hey, maybe he can do that. I don’t know, I’ve actually never tried his methods. Or anyone else’s I hasten to add. I just have a little problem with a guy who uses a different name to promote a different enterprise. Call me distrustful, but to me it seems a little evasive? I could be wrong.
Any Ideas?
I’ve been thinking how I might be able to get some feedback on this post. So far my best ideas are:
- Tell me your best (possibly fictional but not too adult) self-help technique.
- Paste your favourite Eben Pagan advice or comment from one of his followers.
It’s surprisingly difficult to find any negative feedback on this guy. Maybe he’s actually an actual genius. My opinion is that he is not.
The next time my blog goes down, I’ll know who to blame… 
Tags: Blogging, Delusional Mentalists, Moneygrabbing Sonsofbitches, Nutters
People troll on my blog?
I’m ashamed.
I do love the lovebucket picture though – ROFL
How can this person offer dating advice?
I suppose it’s because enough people are desperate enough to want it. He’s positioned himself as a guru and, to be fair, he’s probably hoodwinked enough of the ladieees in his time and to some, that’s a measure of success.
His SEO is awesome: look up “Eben Pagan Scam” and it’s loads of his followers (or associates) posting things about how he’s so not a moneygrabbing parasite. Very clever.
I have read a couple of comments what sprang to mind was he was either writing the comments himself or getting his cronies to do this.:-(
What is worrying is people pay money to him
to attend this sort of crap.
I meant because he was an ugly sod
Do you think my July 150
is suffering from
The Eben Pagan affect
Also glad to see he keeps his followers up to date on twitter…
Here’s may fave comment:
Tony Teegarden said, on April 1, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Fantastic Pics Eban. You never cease to amaze me with your well roundedness and knowledge.
Thank you for sharing both your knowledge and your creativity!
He’s taken some photo’s – how is that knowledgable?
Bear, well over 1600 people have read the post about positivity in which the headstand/Neil Diamond comment was made! Not that many can be cronies. The internet gives numpties who don’t leave the house a real voice, and unfortunately some people will sell them nonsense like this (nonsense in my opinion for legal reasons).
Joby Ha ha, he’s not the prettiest is he? But maybe that’s why other facially challenged people listen to him.
Eat raw veg and the world is yours. Oh and get into ladieees pants.
Oh no, you didn’t follow him did you? I did, and about a hundred others tried to follow me. Thanks to the Gods of twitter I could bat them off with my pooey stick of declinedom.
His 19927 followers on Twitter must be disapointed he aint tweeted since 18th May prob still counting all the money he making out of these poor suckers
Maybe changed his name to Even Fakin and found another brand of snake oil to sell. Shame though, was looking forward to his tweets. Hope he’s back soon, the facially challenged big dating genius.
Phill in response to your “well over 1,600 people have read his post”…
In all honesty – well over 300 people read my crappy little post yesterday
And I’m gonna start following him on twitter now…
Oh, but your posts are not crappy at all mate
The 1600 was just from the bitly link I made so there are probably lots more. But I take your point.
Beware the bow wave of autobot followers when you follow him. Bandwagon-jumping gadabouts.
Yes, but then we can set up a website called. ebanpagan.isacock.co.uk
we could roll it out for plenty of other people too.
there’s a network error on isacock.co.uk, so it might not be owned by anyone.
I can foresee one of your Daily Mail readership targeting-type attacks here. That is, as the attacked, not the attacker! Our attacks on his empire would be perceived as the petty jealousy of some small-minded pessimists.
But we’re right, obviously. He is a c*ck (in my opinion, for legal reasons), yes!
Sides, I’m the only true motivational Guru so nee ner nee ner
Very succinctly put, Carrie.
Perhaps Eben may use some of his money to have his nose straightened; there now – some negative feedback about Mr Pagan http://www.whoisvikasbhatia.co.....s/Eben.jpg