Thinking Back. Looking Forwards.

Thinking Back

One year ago today, I was coming to terms with Mum not being with us any more.  After a few short weeks of preparation and a few short days in the wonderful, calming and caring Springhill Hospice, Mum left us.

A woman with wisdom and tolerance, driven by an unwavering moral compass, Mum taught me many things.  She gave me just enough rope to get myself into trouble, but never quite enough to hang myself.  Her ready smile hid a steely determination, making her a fearsome adversary but a powerful ally.

She looked after cats. She liked a bacardi or two (ahem).  She loved her grandchildren.  These things are all true.

My most enduring memory is of her pulling her face at a mug of tea in the hospice. “Oh, she’s not thirsty”, everyone understandably thought.  She was just bored of tea.  I made her a quick coffee which she drank, then that night I took her some cheapo milk-shake mix which she sipped quietly through a straw, smiling.

Looking Forwards

Last night, the kids and I went to see Mum’s Lights Of Love card, hung on one of the Christmas trees outside the Hospice.  We shared a moment of respect, then each of them dropped a pound into the collection box on reception before we went home and they carried on playing.

These kids are the next part of life’s great adventure, growing into the spaces left by our lost loved ones.  We shouldn’t dwell on the loss, but simply remember the people we’ve loved with the fondness they’d hope for.

So now, we’ll build the best life we can for the people who are with us.  It’s the right thing to do.

Share this page:

8 comments on “Thinking Back. Looking Forwards.

  1. Clive Chapman

    A very personal post mate, I can tell. As my Granddad said to me when he buried yet another mate, “Ah well, life goes on”.

    And that was what I said when he went. It’s not heartless or a cycical attitude, just an acceptence that no matter what, life does indeed, go on.

    And it’s a healthy attitude in my book too. Life not only goes on, but it’s for the young, even if they don’t know it.

  2. WotV

    You are lucky to have had such a lovely mother. I am not so lucky.

  3. Phill

    Clive, I couldn’t agree more. Life does go on and we should get on with it. The older we get, the more people we knew have gone. But life’s there for living, and yes it’s for the young.

    WotV, I hope you’re lucky in other ways. Usually there’s a lot to be thankful for, one way or another.

  4. ian...

    A very personal post mate, I can tell.

    Had just the same thought as Clive & it’s nice of ya to share it, especially as the post ends on a real positive.

    Oh, and I love your Daughters Moonpig card too ;>D

  5. Dave Telling

    A little late, but I’d like to echo what Clive said.

    Also (sadly) WotV, but I got past the hate etc a long time ago. As you say Phil, life is full of good things and these days I appreciate them a lot more 🙂

  6. Toby Field

    Your post made me realise that I’d missed the 5th anniversary of my Dad’s death. He died before his time but was undoubtedly accelerated by his obesity. He was my best friend. You don’t realise how much you miss someone until they’re gone. This might be a bit of a cliché, but live every day like it’s your last.

  7. Phill

    You’re right Toby. Sometimes we feel their absence more strongly than we usually felt their presence. It’s a shame that it works like that.

    Live every day as if it’s your last, but plan that it won’t be!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Where is your business growing to?

Find out how Phill Connell Marketing Solutions can accelerate your business growth. Practical, realistic steps to improve your revenue generation.

%d bloggers like this: