My Daughter…

By 19 commentsTat

… isn’t like most little girls.

There follows a transcript of a bedtime conversation between my daughter and I.

“Did you have a good day sweetheart?”
“Yes.”

“What was the best bit?”
“The bike race in town.  Daddy?”

“Yes darling?”
“There’s a spider on my ceiling, up there.” *points to ceiling*

*Dad looks up, rolls eyes expecting hysterics and work involving a chair, a piece of card, a glass and a key for the window *
“What do you want me to do about it sweetheart?”
“Nothing Dad. Tomorrow we’ll get him some water in a cup because spiders like to drink water so they can stay indoors.”

“Oh, ok, that sounds like a good idea. I’m going now then, goodnight God bless. Love you.”
“Love you Daddy.  Oh and Dad?”

“Yes sweetheart?”
“We’ll call him Steve.”

 

 

 

Steve.

Steve.

 

The other two girls in the house would have dealt with Steve with screams, gasps and excited demands for immediate eviction.

I love having an action girly in the house! 🙂

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19 comments on “My Daughter…”

  1. Clive Chapman

    Wifey and Daughter do the hysterical girly thing with all things insect and arachnid, son of mine on the other hand either tries to befriend them or eat them.

    That’s my boy…

  3. Lisa Millar

    Love it. We like spiders too. They are all named George, except the one with 7 legs. He was named Wonky.

    Flies, now they’re a different matter. My four year old goes right up close to them and pokes/stuns them (in a Ninja style) with his index finger.

  4. Phill

    We have a special gun to shoot flies and wasps with. They are evil brought to life and therefore deserve to die. Bees, on the other hand, are nice.

    Daddylonglegs get captured and freed, as they have a hard enough time being the most accident-prone, drunken-looking creature on the good Earth.

  5. PhilR

    Our spiders are called Boris. My daughter has a knack for catching flies, we can try chasing one forever and not succeed, she walks in, walks up to the fly, puts her hands round it and takes it outside.

    If it was up to my wife bees would get the same treatment as wasps, wasps get a blasting, bees get a helping hand outside if possible.

    If the daddy long legs doesn’t bounce off the dog and get squashed by a heavy paw then they get rescued and released.

    Woodlice get pounced on and played with by the dog in the garden, she finds it amusing that they’re virtually indestructable, in her eyes. She can play for ages nudging with her nose, then she’ll get it with her tongue and spit it out elsewhere only for it to keep running so she can start again.

  6. @phillconnell

    Ha ha! Aren’t insects (and arachnids) fun? A while ago, my stepdaughter had me rescue a moth. After many failed attempts, I caught it. She opened the back door so I stepped across the threshold and threw it into the dusk garden, whereupon it was instantly eaten by a passing swift.

  8. Lisa Millar

    Yes, bees are good. Was on the turbo in the conservatory the other night and a daddy long legs flew right into my face. Reminded me of being out on the open road, wind in my face, flies in my mouth, for a split second. Then it was boring as hell again!!

  9. @phillconnell

    Thanks Joby.
    Lisa, Daddylonglegs are useless aren’t they? Does anyone know what they’re for? if they had a voice, they’d just say “Whooooaaaaahhhh, wheeeaaaayyy, woooaaaaaauuuup! Sorrry!…..” etc 🙂
    But at least that one brightened up your turbo training momentarily.

  10. Dad Who Writes

    You’re right, I do empathise with this! Little elf is actually not terribly fond of spiders or any other kind of insect. To her, they’re all ‘bees’. Dudelet has the typical six year old’s quota of blind savagery when it comes to insects but he’s not prevented from killing them whenever we can manage it. He’ll learn.

    Supermum is the insect queen, though. She was brought up in East Africa and is inordinately fond of the phrase “That’s not what I call a spider…” Believe me, it gets old fast.

  11. Lisa Millar

    I read somewhere (I don’t know how accurate this is and, to be honest, I can’t be arsed checking Google) that Daddy Long Legs have some of the most poisonous venom out there but their wee stinger thing isn’t strong enough to pierce human skin.

    I suspect if I was on QI, the giant alarm would be going off right about now!

  12. Phill

    Ha ha, that’s good. Steve’s picture above is flattering, he’s only around half that size in fact. While I wasn’t brought up in East Africa (entirely Lancashire, in fact), he’s certainly not the largest spider I’ve seen.

  13. Phill

    Lisa, that’s fascinating, but the sad reality is that despite having a most effective venom, their totally ineffective physicality and drunken demeanour renders them hopeless. It just adds to their pathetic uselessness. I pity the poor Daddylonglegs.

  14. Lost

    My parents have spiders we call Boris. My place has a group (herd? flock? school?) of spiders that always look like they’re parachuting or bungee jumping from things, but I haven’t thought of names for them guys yet 😉

    Daddylonglegs are the alcoholics of the insect world surely.

  15. Phill

    So, Lost, you have a herd of action spiders? That’s very, very cool.

    I’m sure I saw a Daddylonglegs waiting for the off license to open while I was on my way to work this morning. Stumbling up and down the road, bumping into lampposts….

  16. Lost

    I do indeed. My spiders’re the Red Arrows of the arachnid world.

    That wouldn’t surprise me bout the dll outside the offy 😉

  17. Phill

    Now you mention it, I bet that’s why dll files fail so much with Microsoft devices. It’s not just a coincidence. 😉

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