Tag Archives: Johnny Vegas

I Had A Dream …

Sometimes I love having diabetes.

There’s a mental twilight between sleeping and waking when your blood sugar is running very low.  It’s a time when your internal alarm bells are ringing, when your body knows something’s wrong, but the primeval signals don’t work because your internal system’s messed up by the drugs you’re taking to keep your broken system ticking along.

Sometimes I love that time.  I have the trippiest dreams 🙂

Did I tell you about my dream last night? No?

Well, I was involved in a revolution.  I was blasting the Houses of Parliament with heavy artillery.  I was on a rooftop overlooking the building, probably utilising an easily-defended vantage point on Westminster Abbey if I’m honest.

It was a dark, artificially-lit night and traffic was light.  Weirdly, I don’t remember seeing Big Ben or I’m sure I’d remember what time it was.  My weapon was glowing red at the muzzle, about ten feet in front of my position at the shielded trigger.  I wasn’t using the sight, I was just strafing the building; yellow trails cutting through the cold London air as glass and brick jumped back towards the trail my bullets carved.

This scene faded… my internal feeling of satisfaction told me I’d achieved my aim.

Later,  I was inside the main Chamber of the House, justifying my actions along with my co-conspirators.  Oddly, the building seemed intact from the inside, with the familiar surroundings I’ve seen so many times on the news.  I had a position on the right side of the House as you look towards the Speaker’s chair.

I was holding my own in the face of some fairly aggressive debate, but then the half-scouse, half-manc accent that identifies a resident of St Helens rose from the seats near the Speaker on my own side of the House.

It was Johnny Vegas.  He was clearly blaming me for the whole revolution idea.  I suspect he feared reprisals and was distancing himself in the event of an eventual failure.

I hate that Johnny Vegas.

I love trippy low-blood-sugar induced dreams though.


I ate half an aero from my bedside drawer when I woke up, then showered and got on with the day. Nothing to see here folks, I’m ok. 🙂

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