Tag Archives: Writing

Suffering from Overwhelm? No, just bad English.

Suffering from Overwhelm?

Aaaargh! I’m overwhelmed with terrible written English and it’s all the internet’s fault. The greatest democratic vehicle in the history of historical things has enabled language to be messed up.

I’m all in favour of misappropriating the written word for comedic effect. Puns and other plays on words are funny: fact. However, when terrible written English becomes the norm (or any other language but I’m afraid I only speak English. Sorry. Unless ordering two beers or typing ‘thanks and regards’ in emails to my European colleagues counts), it makes me more than a little sad. Irritated, too.

Keep Clams

Keep Clams

In support of correct language.

I’d like to be able to clearly differentiate between language murdered for laughs, and language murdered by ignorance. The lack of habitual correction of errors that the light-speed publication and dissemination of information brings about should be slowed down, just so we have time to tap people on the shoulder and remind them:

Correct grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Here endeth today’s sermon / rant.

Why Does Nobody Read My Blog?

Recently, I’ve suffered the ignominy of not receiving a single comment on a couple of my blog posts.  The first time it happened, I shamelessly canvassed friends to put it right.  I was not proud of myself, but it made me feel a little bit better.  The second time, I took a more considered approach and decided to try and find out why.

Here is what I found:

I Talk Some Crap

I love words. Words are great. But I use too many.  When ten words would do, you often see fifty or a hundred.    Must do better.  I find rambling fun (not the walking kind.  See? There I go again) but you don’t have enough time to read all my rambling and that of all the other blogs you follow.

Here’s a Wordle of my blog content. As you can see, it’s very random indeed. Maybe I need some more direction, or to split my blog up a bit…?

What Crap I Write About In The Blind Leading The Blinds

What Gets Written About

I Post At The Wrong Time

Google Analytics and Google Reader tell me the hard truth: I post most of my blog entries at about 1pm.  You read blogs between 12 noon and 1pm.  So my post is a day old if you read it.  Also, the automatic thingummydoofer that posts my new blog entry to twitter does it after your lunch hour has finished.

There’s not much I can do about this.  I get a lunch break, during which I write my posts.  By the time I’ve written them, attached and edited photos, corrected my spelling and rubbish html, etc., you’re all back at work.  I just hope you don’t mind reading them late – I need to work out how to remind you to do that at the beginning of your lunch breaks, though.

I Need Help To Get More Subscribers

From the stats I’ve got my hands on, there are 15 subscribers to this blog via Feedburner, 3 from Google Reader and 8 Google Friends.  Now that you’ve realised you’re in such a select group, rather than a crowd of Papal Mass proportions, there are probably even fewer 😉

I need better ways to get my blog in front of people, automatically (but carefully and ethically)and via the people I know.   Or failing that, just tell your friends to read my bloody blog! … please. 🙂

I downloaded the Arkayne plugin recently, with the intention of finding other blogs I could link to automatically and broaden my exposure to other blogs.  This would help me read from a wider pool of writers, but also send my links to other people.  The sad truth though, is that Arkayne doesn’t seem to have enough members who like what I like.  I’m going to stick with it though, for a while at least, to see if I get any interesting new knowledge or visitors.

Can any of you recommend plugins or tools that will be handy?

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