Tag Archives: Delusional Mentalists

I Had A Dream …

By 4 commentsDiabetes, Tat, , ,

Sometimes I love having diabetes.

There’s a mental twilight between sleeping and waking when your blood sugar is running very low.  It’s a time when your internal alarm bells are ringing, when your body knows something’s wrong, but the primeval signals don’t work because your internal system’s messed up by the drugs you’re taking to keep your broken system ticking along.

Sometimes I love that time.  I have the trippiest dreams 🙂

Did I tell you about my dream last night? No?

Well, I was involved in a revolution.  I was blasting the Houses of Parliament with heavy artillery.  I was on a rooftop overlooking the building, probably utilising an easily-defended vantage point on Westminster Abbey if I’m honest.

It was a dark, artificially-lit night and traffic was light.  Weirdly, I don’t remember seeing Big Ben or I’m sure I’d remember what time it was.  My weapon was glowing red at the muzzle, about ten feet in front of my position at the shielded trigger.  I wasn’t using the sight, I was just strafing the building; yellow trails cutting through the cold London air as glass and brick jumped back towards the trail my bullets carved.

This scene faded… my internal feeling of satisfaction told me I’d achieved my aim.

Later,  I was inside the main Chamber of the House, justifying my actions along with my co-conspirators.  Oddly, the building seemed intact from the inside, with the familiar surroundings I’ve seen so many times on the news.  I had a position on the right side of the House as you look towards the Speaker’s chair.

I was holding my own in the face of some fairly aggressive debate, but then the half-scouse, half-manc accent that identifies a resident of St Helens rose from the seats near the Speaker on my own side of the House.

It was Johnny Vegas.  He was clearly blaming me for the whole revolution idea.  I suspect he feared reprisals and was distancing himself in the event of an eventual failure.

I hate that Johnny Vegas.

I love trippy low-blood-sugar induced dreams though.

Footnote

I ate half an aero from my bedside drawer when I woke up, then showered and got on with the day. Nothing to see here folks, I’m ok. 🙂

Delusional Moneygrabbing Parasites

By 18 commentsTat, , ,

I should point out that this isn’t a cycling post. My apologies if you were expecting something 2-wheeler related.

This Is A Rant And Laugh Post.

A friend who shall remain nameless asked me, a few days ago, what I though about certain US-based PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) gurus.  A few names were suggested so I had a little poke around on the information superhighway and found a blog belonging to one of them.

I won’t link it here because a pingback to his site will probably get me countless delusional followers who believe that I’m actually a fan of his.  I’m not.  Let’s make that perfectly clear.  I think he’s a parasite, sucking the lifeblood and money from far too many hapless individuals.  Thankfully most of them stay at home all day: I know this because people with actual life experience wouldn’t fall for his bullsh*t, would they?

He’s called Eben Pagan.

Google him.  Read his wordpress blog and be a little scared.  Then, read the comments his followers leave and be heartily amused.

I’m sorry.  I know it’s wrong to mock the afflicted, but if you’re going to be afflicted with terminal dumbassness, don’t post it all over the internet.  Unless of course you’re happy for me to laugh at you – then for me to post it on another blog to encourage other people to laugh at you.

Actually, do you know what? I’m not sorry at all, not one little bit.

Not Googled Him Yet?

Ok, if you’re not convinced it’s worth your time, look at these.  These are actual screenshots taken from his actual blog which he (probably) actually writes.  Click on them to enlarge them and have a read, then come back here and let me know what you think.

Really? No, really really?

I mean, seriously?

I know that trolling takes place on blogs. I’ve read Joby’s.  But check for yourself.  Some of the comments left on Mr Pagan’s blog are priceless, even moreso for the seriousness and gullibility with which they have been written.

Here’s another one, with the contributor’s link expanded.  Have a click:

Love Bucket. Got to love that website.

Excuse me but I really have no interest in your Love Bucket, love.

Who Is This Eben Guy?

Eben Pagan, I suspect, may not be an actual name.  I have some difficulty imagining his parents proudly proffering him to the Priest at his Baptism and giving him that name.

You might know him as David DeAngelo, who promised to Double Your Dating.  That is, to make it possible for you to turn the heads of the ladieees.  Oh, and to remove the pants of said individuals.

Hey, maybe he can do that.  I don’t know, I’ve actually never tried his methods.  Or anyone else’s I hasten to add.  I just have a little problem with a guy who uses a different name to promote a different enterprise.  Call me distrustful, but to me it seems a little evasive?  I could be wrong.

Any Ideas?

I’ve been thinking how I might be able to get some feedback on this post.  So far my best ideas are:

  1. Tell me your best (possibly fictional but not too adult) self-help technique.
  2. Paste your favourite Eben Pagan advice or comment from one of his followers.

It’s surprisingly difficult to find any negative feedback on this guy.  Maybe he’s actually an actual genius.  My opinion is that he is not.

The next time my blog goes down, I’ll know who to blame… 🙂

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